Honoring the Innocents - Remembering Our Innocence, 9-11

I was only 4 years old when one of the most serious disasters of modern times occurred in our great nation. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. I remember my dad crying, watching our black and white TV with him, not realizing anything other than the outpouring of grief and utter loss of

"Shot Heard Around The World", a term used for other moments of deep anxiety in history, is what has always stuck with me when I read, watched movies / documentaries, or thought of that moment in history. Most people in the world are affected by the death of JFK. As I grew up, I would like to hear from my parents, relatives and other adults in time to stop that day was. It is memorialized the day, when everyone who was old enough, he will forever after be able to recall the moment Walter Cronkite spoke about the death of our president, at the end of Camelot. I could not imagine or relate because it is not my life experience.

Fast forward 20 years. When the Space Shuttle Challenger crashed, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. I rushed home to watch this moment in time to develop, riveted and appalled by the images NASA.

I remember watching Christa McAuliffe's mom disgust as she watched the sky, with undoubtedly the most uncomprehending anguish that the mother will have to bear.

Again, people were affected and responded to the loss of American astronauts. With the cold war coming to an end, even Russia responded with sadness for 'our' misfortune.

For me, however, the day that changed the way we experience our life, love and losses of 9/11/2001. I remember not only where I was, but I remember living alacrity tightness in the chest, bubbling fear of the unknown and nausea panic for so many innocents, as the nation's loss of innocence. Within hours I closed my company staff for the day and sent their employees home. I called my daughter to college in CT, and insisted that she go to her home and not leave. I named my youngest daughter to college in MA and insisted that she come home immediately. I called my brain-injured husband and insisted that he will leave his help-living apartment, but lock the doors and stay inside. I was traumatized, angry and terrorized ..... as was the entire nation. Terrorized. What a terrible word. Terrorists. What horrible people.

Nine years later, still a blanket of sadness over us, the United States each year as the 9 / 11 approaches, I wish I could just forget. I wish that somehow, I'll feel better. It will not hurt as bad, if I can I'll just get through this sad day. Every year, I still weep for the loss .... the loss of innocent .... the loss of my innocence. Again, people were affected. the world united for America's tragedy.

I'm not sure how to honor those heroes who gave their lives gladly for flight 93 to keep the losses in the field who are going to be bigger in size. I pray for their families. I thank the Lord for his strength and virtue. I feel helpless, grateful to those who have given so much to me, for our country.

I wonder, nine years later, as family, friends and loved ones of those who died in the aircraft, the Pentagon, the Twin Towers work. If it still hurts for me and I was saved from the personal loss of weight, then how much more must it still hurts for them? My brother-in-law was a pilot in a plane over New York that day watching it unfold in the sky, can not reach the ground, and then able to get off the ground when all planes were grounded. He was not able to get the news of his safety to my sister. His personal trauma will be with them forever.

Well, the 9 / 11 I'll pray, because I do not know what else to do. In memory, I'll burn one candle, starting at 08:43 for the day. For as long as the memory causes my heart pain and as much as I do not want to cry, I do not want to memorialize those who are no longer here. I want tears to remind me that even through the subsequent wars, battles, death in combat, as a group of perverted, satanic terrorists, we still survive. We do more than survive, we thrive. We Americans are a restless spirits. We are one-of-a-kind, endless, incessant, uninterrupted, the world-without-end STRONG compilation indomitable individuals who continue to put one foot in front of another, day after day and we make a difference, one person at a time.

My hopes and prayers for you on 9 / 11 is that you will find a measure of peace while mark this sad day.

We will never forget.

yours with a heavy heart, but thankfully the spirit, Lori